The Coach Approach

20 Habits You Need to Break to Get to the Next Level

"You can get there.  But you have to understand that what got you here won't get you there."  Marshall Goldsmith

Executive coach Marshall Goldsmith's book "What Got You Here Won't Get You There" identifies 20 behaviors that successful people need to change to get ahead at work.  The book elaborates on each of these negative habits and provides useful remedies and strategies for modifying the offending behaviors.

Worth a a read and what I notice is you can apply them at work, at home, in relationships and other places in your life as well.  They don't need much explanation.

1. Winning too much.

2. Adding too much value.

3. Passing judgment.

4. Making destructive comments.

5. Starting with "No," "But," or "However."

6. Telling the world how smart you are.

7. Speaking when angry.

8. Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work."

9. Withholding information.

10. Failing to give proper recognition.

11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve.

12. Making excuses.

13. Clinging to the past.

14. Playing favorites.

15. Refusing to express regret.

16. Not listening.

17. Failing to express gratitude.

18. Punishing the messenger.

19. Passing the buck.

20. An excessive need to be "me."

The only one I didn't really get on first read was the last one.  An 'excessive need to be me" is justifying a behavior with "That's just the way I am." 

Which of these behaviors might be coming between you and your next level of success?

Success Tool: Mental Journey to Millions Live!

I was able to jump on a plane at the last minute Thursday night to accept the invitation I received from Thach Nguyen to attend his program Mental Journey to Millions Live! in Irvine, California.  While I was grateful to receive the invitation a couple of weeks ago, it didn't appear that I would be able to attend because of a previous commitment AND I had an intuition that I would be going.  My intuition was correct.  There were some changes to the program I was delivering at San Jose State University and I just said, "Yes" to the opportunity to hear and support Thach and his co-leader Matthew Ferry.  Not surprisingly, when I saw Thach Friday night what did he say?  "I always knew you would be here."  Sometimes when I am creating and connecting with others, it feels a little magical.  This was one of those times.

So the program - this is a great jump start if you have been putting off creating, living, and/or working from your vision and values.  Ferry's energy and entertainment value are over the top.  Thach is a humble, funny, fountain of wisdom and experience.  The two put on an energizing performance complete with giant visual graphics and inspirational music.  Here is a short summary of the highlights.

Leadership Tip: Your Attention Please!

When and where do you place your attention?  This is a simple question and the answer may not be as easy.  There are countless moments during the day when you hand over your attention to the auto pilot, perhaps in handling prolific email, an unengaging conversation, or the repeat performance of routine interactions such as saying "Good morning" for example.  Ever bump into someone in the hall or at the coffee pot to hear, "Hi, how are you?" and no one sticks around to hear the answer?  Ever do that one yourself?

Excuses, Allies, and Forward Progress

It's been awhile, since January actually, and I am tempted to make excuses for falling off the face of the blogosphere.  I've got plenty of good ones.   Managing my company and leading training programs keeps me pretty busy.  Business is good.  I have been teaching at San Jose State University with Marci Rinkoff, CPCC of MBR Coaching and I am making considerable progress in my vision to positively impact millions of people.  The Coach Approach will be going to India to lead two training programs for industry leaders in New Delhi and Mumbai in a few weeks. 

I also have some pretty lame excuses.  Don't have enough time.  Nothing compelling to write.  And, anyway you look at them, they are just excuses.  Excuses get in the way of forward progress.  They give us permission to take our eye off the ball, to lose focus, miss commitments, get mired in details and forget about the bigger picture.  When you find yourself in this boat, it's a great time to turn to your allies.

Allies are partners in your success, sometimes knowingly and sometimes not.

Success Tip: Where do you put your attention?

I've been away for a bit and I am back, refreshed, energized, refueled and in action after attending the Success Summit 2006 in Palm Springs presented by Success Strategies Institute.  SSI is the world's fastest growing coaching firm specializing in real estate and headed up by an incredibly young and inspiring leader, Tom Ferry. 

Unfortunately, I missed Brian Tracy but I got to hear Thach Nguyen, a Seattle based real estate agent and philanthropist who made over $50 million last year and just turned 36 on May 18, 2006, Matthew Ferry, Tom's brother and quite of bit of Tom's wisdom and inspiration as well.  My next five entries are going to be a recap and personal debrief to capture the learning for myself and share some of it with you.

I captured the most from Thach Nguyen.

Leadership Tip: Help!

It's "Ask For Help" Week over at the Recovering Leader blog.

Here is a bit about what David Peck, leadership coach, has to say about showing a little vulnerability when you are in charge.

As I've said before, many leaders are reluctant to ask for help. Like a lost traveler unwilling to stop for directions, we go further off track rather than face facts and get assistance. Why  not ask? Here are five thoughts, and there are, of course, many others:

    * Embarrassment: I should know / be able to do this!
    * Fear: If I show them what I can't do / don't know, they'll think less of me.
    * Ego - inverse to knowledge: The less I know, the more I have to prove myself!
    * Control: If I can't do it myself, who knows HOW it will get done, or what people will do with the information?
    * Distrust: I'm not comfortable trusting others.

Read the rest of the article here.

And as I've said before, this is an important tool for your leadership toolbox!  Read the whole series at The Recovering Leader.

With respect,

Lora
lora@TheCoachApproach.net
The Coach Approach, LLC

Leadership Skill: Making Amends

The good news is that when moving through failure, when you get to the point of making amends and looking at the commitments you can make in the future, you are well on your way to recovering. Beware of the temptation to expedite things by apologizing. While apologizing is sometimes what is needed, oftentimes it is the result of the group’s desire to quickly get out of the discomfort of the failure zone.

Leadership Skill: Asking for Help

What is so difficult about asking for help when you need it? I am not sure I can answer that question, although it comes up again and again in the leadership training seminars I conduct for business leaders through The Coach Approach. I wrote a few days ago about the importance of leading through failure and never forgetting that you are continuing to lead, even when faced with failure. One of the ways you actively lead is by making choices, taking proactive action rather than just dodging bullets. So know that one of the options available to you may very well be – asking for help.

Taking responsibility is an important step in recovering from the failure and I sometimes see managers go to the extreme, acting as if, “I got myself(us) into this and I’ll get myself(us) out.” Valiant, perhaps honorable and not necessarily the most leaderly move. Leaders cannot be afraid to ask for help. Remember the Law of Requisite Variety which says that the organism with the greatest number of responses available to it, is the organism that survives. To survive and even thrive through failure, let asking for help be one of your options and don’t hesitate for second if that is what is needed.

What gets in the way of you asking for help?

All the best,

Lora
lora@TheCoachApproach.net
The Coach Approach, LLC

Leadership Skill: Take Responsibility for Failure with Clarity

Leaders inevitably lose credibility when they don’t take responsibility for failure. And, it is impossible to move past the failure, to recover, without taking responsibility. So, what does it mean to take responsibility? If you continue to lead through the failure and have honestly assessed your actions and your impact, taking responsibility is a natural next step.

You quite simply must speak about the failure.

Leadership Skill: Getting Real with Failure

I often experience an “A Ha” moment with clients when we discuss the difference between “being good” and “looking good.” In this context, I use the phrase, “being good,” to describe consistently acting in accordance with your values. When facing failure, looking good may not be an option. Being good is always an option and in fact, is the most powerful form of leadership in difficult situations.

I wrote yesterday about actively leading through failure, rather than defending or retreating from it. One of the ways you begin to do that is to get real with yourself and those impacted by the failure. situation.