The Coach Approach

Achieving Your Goals by Setting "Actionable" Steps

Anyone who has set and failed at a New Year's resolution (that would be just about all of us!), knows that some times our goals seem too far off in the distant or too big to achieve, so we give up.  We quit.  We fail.  And our well thought out, well intentioned goal ends up back in the land of pipe dreams rather than as a satisfying outcome to our efforts.

The trick is to take the goal and work backwards into ACTIONABLE steps. 

Success Tip: Small Steps Lead to Big Accomplishments

"Step by step.  I can't see any other way of accomplishing anything."  - Michael Jordan

Would you rather play and always lose or never play?  This question was posed last night in our family game of "Would You Rather?" which requires one person to guess what the rest of the group will decide after a short discussion.  The idea of the game is to stimulate thought-provoking discussion which indeed it did.

My husband was surprised by my answer - play!  Not that I enjoy losing but, I do enjoy learning and if you are not even trying, you can't lose and...you can't win either. This brought to mind a little book my husband  purchased some time ago by basketball great, Michael  Jordan, called, "I Can't Accept Not Trying: Michael Jordan on the Pursuit of Excellence."

Jordan's first chapter on goal setting parallels the coaching concept of "the early win." 

Success Tip: Eight Steps to Manifesting

Last week, after receiving an invitation from Thach Nguyen to his Mental Journey to Millions Seminar Live in Irvine, California coming up this weekend, I enjoyed reviewing some of the YouTube video clips he and Matthew Ferry have posted on their site.  I enjoyed their "Eights Steps to Manifesting" as so much of it is about relationship, relationship, relationship.  Like I always say - ALL business is relationship business!

Here are the eight steps. 

Leadership Tip: Your Attention Please!

When and where do you place your attention?  This is a simple question and the answer may not be as easy.  There are countless moments during the day when you hand over your attention to the auto pilot, perhaps in handling prolific email, an unengaging conversation, or the repeat performance of routine interactions such as saying "Good morning" for example.  Ever bump into someone in the hall or at the coffee pot to hear, "Hi, how are you?" and no one sticks around to hear the answer?  Ever do that one yourself?

Success Tip: Goals and New Year's Resolutions

Almost forty eight hours into the new year here on the Pacific coast in the USA and who has already blown it on a new year's resolution or goal you set for yourself this year?  Here is a good question to ask yourself, how do you want to be with yourself when you find yourself off track?  Is it the time to quit, to give up, to decide the goal is to big or you are too small?  How about just beating yourself up a little bit with some negative self-talk?

I have a better idea.  How about just noticing that you might be off track a little or even a lot and then choosing where to place your focus?  You get to choose.  Setting your focus on the failure or the blame, might be a familiar game for some of you.  Or, reset your focus on those stretch goals and get going.  By the way, don't forget to take the learning from the failure!

Since I just love New Year's resolutions and goal setting in general, here are some of my all time favorite hints and tips.

Leadership Skill: Failing and Recovering

I've talked a bit about failure and recovery but again, I was reminded this past week just how important these two concepts are to growth.  When we do these retreats, we often play games.  Why?  A - because it is fun and B - because when people are having fun they generally learn better.  They may not know what it has to do with their work, but that is where LeAnne and I come in to help them lock in the learning.

So Kulu did some great work with the group on rhythm in a huge drumming circle.  Now, what does that have to do with work objectives, coaching, or leadership?  Actually, quite a lot.  Everything has a rhythm, you, your body, your home, your team, your office, and your entire organization.  When we become aware of those rhythms we become more effective.  Noticing rhythm requires us to be aware of what we are doing, be aware of what our coworkers are doing and  be aware of what is going on in the organization as a whole.  Get the connection?

Besides rhythm, he did this cool game that taught us a lot about failing and recovering.

People Skill Builder: Conflict Evolution vs Resolution

As an organization, relationship and systems coach, part of my work is helping individual clients, teams, and organizations work through conflicts and differences of opinion.  Conflict makes people uncomfortable.  Often it decreases positivity in the work environment and lowers productivity. We talk about conflict resolution - wanting to get through the discomfort to some kind of peaceful accord on the other side.  But, we need to look at little closer at conflict and ask, "What is wanting to happen?  What is needed?"

It is not always peace or resolution.  Sometimes evolution, just moving the players forward, is enough.  I wish you could have been there last week as I struggled with these issues personally.

Learning is the Gift of Failure

The fruit of all failure is the learning. I love Thomas Edison’s perspective on failure and learning.  He said, “I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.”

Leadership Skill: Recover, Don't Persevere

The big difference between persevering and recovering through failure is that recovery requires a pause and a conscious choice about where you go from here based on what you have learned from failing. Webster defines persevering as, “to go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of opposition, importunity, or warning.” Recovery is about fully stepping in, once again, to your leadership and moving forward with the new information rather than in spite of the learning. See the difference?

What is here now? What is different now? What is available now that perhaps didn’t exist before this failure?   

 

Leadership Skill: Making Amends

The good news is that when moving through failure, when you get to the point of making amends and looking at the commitments you can make in the future, you are well on your way to recovering. Beware of the temptation to expedite things by apologizing. While apologizing is sometimes what is needed, oftentimes it is the result of the group’s desire to quickly get out of the discomfort of the failure zone.