The Coach Approach

16 Ways to Jumpstart Your Day

Photo by Mizz Amontillado
I love mornings.  I appreciate my mornings so much because not too long ago, I didn't have mornings to enjoy.   Well, the mornings were there.  They were just insane.

Working east coast hours from the west coast, I used to fly into the bathroom at 4:00 a.m., flip on the micro-coffee pot - that's right. the coffee pot was in my bathroom - and then jump into a fast and furious shower.  I could wash my hair and shave both legs in less than 7 minutes on a good day.  By 4:20 a.m. I was speeding down Columbus Ave. to the 12th floor of the Transamerica Pyramid building for the start of a 4:30 a.m. meeting.

The meeting was broadcast over a loud speaker so I could read the newspaper, scan multiple news services, review overnight emails and research, and choke down an apple while listening to CNN and MSNBC on the jumbo screen tv's - all at the same time. 

If this sounds even a little bit like your morning, know that you don't need that frantic morning pace in order to succeed or get everything done that you want to get done in the day.  The reality is, starting out at that level of adrenaline and cortisol so early in the morning leads to ineffective decision making and burn out.  Its kind of like trying to run a marathon at the pace of a sprint.  You use all your juice right off the start line and then limp through the rest of the race at a lackluster crawl.

Forget Right and Wrong

Laura Whitworth, one of the founders of the industry of coaching, founder of The Bigger Game, founder of The Coaches Training Institute in San Rafael, creator of the CTI Global Leadership training program and author of Co-Active Coaching: New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and, Life, left this planet on February 28, 2007 after a long battle with lung cancer.  She was a coach, a friend, a mentor and an inspiration to me in the few years that I knew her.  Laura, like the master coach that she was, asked the best questions.  And although it was several years ago, I still remember one of the greatest gifts of wisdom she gave to me in a coaching session sitting on the beach in Santa Cruz, California.

Laura was coaching me on an entrenched conflict in my personal life, a relationship that had gone bad and become polarized into good and bad, right and wrong. 

Success Tip: Appreciate, Appreciate, Appreciate

Yeah, I know Thanksgiving (here in the US) was more than a week ago but I was busy with my family and missed the opportunity to speak to one of my favorite topics - appreciation.  Appreciation is a powerful force which stimulates creativity, generates positive energy, and infuses the environment with possibilities.

The three A's are:

• Appreciate Yourself
• Appreciate What Is
• Appreciate Others

Try this exercise for 21 days in a row and tell me what is different on the 22nd day.  I can make some guarantees but would prefer to let you explore your own path if you so choose.

Coaching Skill: Gratitude is a powerful force.

Three weeks away and I have missed this blog.  After the Tom Ferry seminar, I got four kids back to school and into a routine.  And just when we got a rhythm going on around the house, I traveled to Dallas to lead a three day management retreat.  With four children and a husband who works east coast hours from California, you can imagine the planning that goes into running our household when I am away.

Every time I lead a corporate training, I always come away amazed at how much I learn myself.  This week, I intend to share just a few of those learnings from this last program.  My co-leader, LeAnne Ravinale and I, put 120 employees through a ropes course Tuesday afternoon at Camp Arrowhead in Cleburne, Texas.  We worked late into the evening with 80 managers and executives on coaching and leadership skills and then all day Wednesday and most of the day Thursday.  And Wednesday night, we had the extreme pleasure of building relationships and connecting with the inspired facilitation of Kulu Sadira of World Beat Circle.

Some of my key take aways that I will be writing about this week:

• Gratitude is a powerful force.
• Failing and recovering are part of growing.
• Real connection goes a long way in work and in life.
• Your experience is your choice.
• Attitude is everything.

First, about gratitude.

Success Tip: Getting What You Want

OK, I recapped a little yesterday on the presentation by Thach Nguyen at the SSI Success Summit and here are the nine steps he outlined for getting what you want, meeting and exceeding your goals, and creating personal and professional success.

Coaching Tip: The One Minute Manager with a Coaching Tweak

"The One Minute Manager" by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson, billed on it's front cover as "The World's Most Popular Management Method" is a classic best seller.  Published in 1981, it is a fictionalized story written to present three simple ideas in getting the best out of people and your organization.  These three simple things and the back of the envelope definitions are:

Acknowledgment - The Mother Lode of All Coaching Skills

mother lode (from www.dictionary.com)
n.

1. The main vein of ore in a region.
2. An abundant or rich source

It's Mother's Day and  I didn't realize what a play on words this was until I just typed it.  And it's just perfect.  The "main vein" of a relationship is our ability to find the beauty in each other.  In a corporate setting, substitute the word "talent, value, or potential" for beauty.   Acknowledging another is an "abundant and rich source" for creating relationship because it lets the receiver know that they have been seen and appreciated for how they uniquely show up.

Art of Acknowledgment

Do you ever get tired of people telling you how awesome, terrific and wonderful you are? I didn’t think so. Everyone appreciates a sincere acknowledgment. Think back on the last time someone gave you a real, honest to goodness, heartfelt acknowledgment, not a compliment or a brief at-a-boy, but an authentic observation about how you were showing up at work, at home, or in a relationship. A good acknowledgment can, quite frankly, make your day.

On my own journey, this concept hit my radar several years ago when I was studying the co-active coaching model I use in my coaching practice today. Personally, I was stunned at (a) my lack of skill and (b) how uncomfortable I could feel engaging with other people in this way, including my own family. I wish I knew where the discomfort originated but I can’t say that I do. What I do know, is that I am not alone in either my lack of skill or the discomfort. I have had clients report to me in a coaching session that a subordinate or even a boss made some great stride or that a spouse or partner made a contribution to a difficult situation. I ask them, “Did you tell her what you noticed?”

Want to Live Longer? Improve Your AQ!

Recent research from the Institute of HeartMath presented on the Today Show this week, suggests if you want to live longer, increase the amount of time you spend appreciating in your life. Appreciation, and other positive emotions such as love and caring, improves the rhythm of the heart and flow of the cardio vascular system. Stressful emotions such as anger, frustration, and hatred do just the opposite.

 

This adds another dimension to mindfulness. In terms of our health, mindfulness is not some luxury we can play with when it is convenient, but rather a means to greater health and a longer life. We pay for those negative emotions. Not that we are not going to experience them, of course we are. The whole range of emotions is part of the human experience and in fact, we want access to all of it.